I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
