suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize