I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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