In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
