When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
