Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
