If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
