He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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