I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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