just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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