I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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