Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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