Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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