shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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