My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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