Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
