Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
