And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
