She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize