I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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