Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
