Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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