It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
