im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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