I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
