Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
