if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
