Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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