lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
