i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
