Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
