I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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