no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I love you. Go after that dick
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
