I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
