Pants 0. Shit 1.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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