You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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