then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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