people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
