But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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