I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
