I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
