don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize