I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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