Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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