the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
