let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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