She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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