we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
