Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
