Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
