We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
