Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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