Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
