I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
