I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Terrible idea I love it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
