Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
two words...techno handjob
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
