i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
