I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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