dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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