im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The best revenge is premature balding
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
